As nurses started to become a way of life in our home it did not come easy at the start. I turned down and refused help at any chance I could. Peter was our little boy and we would look after him like our girls, everything would be ok. Soon I realised that the nurses were a quick route to my GP & hospital Dr's if Peter needed any medicines. I fought Peter's patch like someone i would never have recogized as being myself... Peter give me a strength I never thought I would have. Our nurse spoke about "The childrens Hospice" I avoided the subject at all cost. One day I recieved a phone call from a lady who turned out to be our key worker from the hospice. There was something in her voice that made me agree to let her visit. As much as I do understand families need hospices for respite it was not for us, though we did go to the hospice as a family to stay with Peter because we were told it would be good for the girls. The girls enjoyed being there at the start I suppose it was a different attention of sorts, which they needed at the time and I am so glad we did it for them. Peter didn't like it at all he didn't like anything strange or different in anyway. But I am glad we gave him the chance because if he had liked it I would have done it for him. No matter what it did to my already torn heart. Our key worker remained with us and would visit us at home. Her aftercare is maybe one of the few reasons I am still here to write this today!