Our beautiful wee Peter was born one week before christmas 2000 he is our only little son. He was the best Christmas present we could ever have asked for! We were not aware at the start of our brave little man's life that there was anything wrong...though I did had my concerns as a Mummy but was told not to worry! Peter and I got home on day 3 after a C section Peter was re-admitted on day 4 with jaundice, we could not get our little baby to feed properly. Peter got home a few days later still not feeding. I would feed him continuously with milk from a teaspoon trying to drip the tiny drops into his mouth. At 3 weeks Peter became very ill with a chest infection, we nearly lost our precious wee man before we had a chance to know him properly. It was then they decided to send Peter for tests to another hospital. We went to that hospital for a daycase appointment... they took him to operate on a flap at the back of his throat so the air could get to his lungs. The Dr came to my sister and I after the op to let us know how things had gone and when he was leaving he said "I think there is more to this, it looks like there is a brain stem problem " "Peter needs to be transfered to a childrens hospital with specialists" I will never forget the fear that entered my body that day.. a fear which has never ever left again! Our lives changed forever! from that day we entered a world of Dr's, hospitals, nurses, community care teams, pallative care teams, pain, heartbreak & much more. But what we also had was the most amazing brave little baby boy who like us, had no understanding of the path we as a family were about to take. There is hurt & pain from those early days that is engraved in my heart, things that were said and done that should never have happened! When Peter's consultant told us Peter had CP it was the coldest thing that I have ever experienced "Yea it is CP for sure and I have a group of students on my round later it would be good for them to see his spastic limbs!"...when asked what would it mean for Peter he said well dont be thinking he will be able to walk or sit unaided this won't happen" Peter lay on an adults bed with Dr's and student Dr's prodding at him, he was 9wks old and his little face will haunt me forever. Those early days were very difficult waiting for Peter to have a MRI to comfirm damage to his brain. I shut myself down, avoided everybody I could including family on the phone. We were 75 miles from home & our daughters. I thought if I didn't speak or listen about anything that was happening it would leave like a bad dream...how wrong I was. When we returned to our local hospital Peter & I were introduced to nasal gastric feeding tubes. It broke my heart to watch him fight against them trying to pass these tubes he was so scared no matter how much I changed my mask to " the brave mummy" and tried to reassure him. When they told me I would have to be taught to pass the tubes if I was to get him home! I was horrified at the thought incase I could hurt or kill my wee man. It was that day I learned I was to become a Doctor, a Nurse, a Physiotherapist, a Dietitian,an Occupational therapist... and still be a Mummy to our 3 daughters & our very distressed little son. I remember we were met by the duty social worker whom I wanted nothing to do with (again trying to bury my head in the sand) she spoke about DLA and I didnt know why she was telling us all this!...I do remember one thing she said "from here on in everything you need for Peter you will have to fight for" I thought then that she had to be wrong; how could you ever have to fight for a sick child's rights!!..How wrong I was.