Christmas came and went that year without very much notice even yet it feels like it never happened. I do believe Peter works very hard at slipping memories in very gently just enough so we can cope. Our girls that Christmas were looked after well by people being very kind. I remember just wanting it to be us on Christmas day no Dr's, no nurses and no family, just us and if that was the day our Peter was going to leave us it was a chance at that time I thought I was willing to take. We all sat around the table for a 5 min christmas dinner Peter included with his little paper hat on. He was so very tired by that stage he wasnt awake very much...when he was he always had a smile for his Daddy and sisters. Boxing day started it all again with our home feeling like someone elses. I never left Peter at all, to go to the bathroom was an ordeal incase he would slip away. I remember his nurse saying to me "maybe he is waiting until you are not in the room to spare you"...I bent over him and whispered in his ear "I promise I will never leave you baby I will cuddle you & stroke your beautiful little face until the angels come to take you. I need to be there to be sure". To this day I don't know how I thought I wouldn't be able to tell if he had gone. Because when he did...